[ Receiving and then reading this text almost breaks Scott's heart. While his grief is still very much present and he's been dealing with it the best he can (he doesn't, not really) there's still no love lost between him and Charles. He's just very adrift right now.
So, his reply comes after almost two hours. ] I will.
[ And then, it takes a couple of minutes before he sends another message. ] I'm sorry, Professor.
[ This time, Scott's reply comes after only a few minutes. ]
I'll be alright.
[ When that will be, he doesn't know. Only time will tell. But he hasn't been as lost as he was a week ago, even if the pain is still fresh and won't let up. ]
[ Thing is, he knows someone (Ororo) has been cleaning after him. He just doesn't know who it is. His bruises and cuts from the Dome don't get infected (for now) even when they don't appear to be healing, mostly because he doesn't stop from fighting. ]
[ Thing is, he probably has a few people but Scott doesn't want to burden them with this. Non-mutants will never understand their plight. What they go through.
His next reply comes a little quicker than others. ]
I'll be fine, Professor.
If it helps, I'll come find you when it's too much.
[ Thing is, he's not sure about this either. But if it will help ease Charles' worries even a little, he'll tell him what he'd like to know. ]
[ It's hard to be spiraling down while being angry at someone you respected, admired, and loved. While also mindful of not disappointing them. This is all very complicated in a way Scott never expected. And yet here he is wallowing in his own misery.
His next reply doesn't come late. ]
I know.
[ It's tough to reconcile his love for Charles and the feeling of betrayal that's still simmering under the surface. ]
[ When he receives this message, Scott takes five hours before replying. Mostly because he needs to drink to somehow be alright with the fact Charles is apologizing to him for letting him down. Even when Scott has every right to feel betrayed. ]
I forgive you, Professor. But I need time.
[ To forget. To accept his fate in the future. To be alright with the fact that this was hidden from him. ]
[ Charles is feeling many things about this, none of them good, all of them guilty or regretful, but worried above all things. In truth, he's glad Scott replied to him in the first place, but what to say or do to make this better is beyond him.]
I don't want you to be alone.
I know he's Magneto, but I also know that Erik cares for you, and he was upset about your situation. Would you consider reaching out to him if you have no one else?
[ The mention of Erik surprises Scott a little. While he's generally fine with the guy, and actually managed to let him in that one time, he's one of the last person he'd want to confide in or turn to. Even when he doesn't doubt Charles' words. ]
I don't think so.
I'm fine alone. [ Sorry, Charles. He's going to be pretty stubborn about this. ]
[ Scott almost replied another I know to Charles' text, but he ultimately deletes it, and chooses not to reply at all. Sorry Charles. It's hard to remember he's not alone when he feels like he is, consumed by a kind of grief and anger he can't quite get a hold of. Can't quite fathom during some days.
In the end, he's just not ready to come out of being a hermit. Not when his misery clouds his judgment. ]
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So, his reply comes after almost two hours. ] I will.
[ And then, it takes a couple of minutes before he sends another message. ] I'm sorry, Professor.
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I'll be alright.
[ When that will be, he doesn't know. Only time will tell. But he hasn't been as lost as he was a week ago, even if the pain is still fresh and won't let up. ]
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[ Thing is, he knows someone (Ororo) has been cleaning after him. He just doesn't know who it is. His bruises and cuts from the Dome don't get infected (for now) even when they don't appear to be healing, mostly because he doesn't stop from fighting. ]
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I don't know.
[ Which is probably the most truthful way he can put it. He really doesn't know if he's ready to actually let someone in right now. ]
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His next reply comes a little quicker than others. ]
I'll be fine, Professor.
If it helps, I'll come find you when it's too much.
[ Thing is, he's not sure about this either. But if it will help ease Charles' worries even a little, he'll tell him what he'd like to know. ]
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His next reply doesn't come late. ]
I know.
[ It's tough to reconcile his love for Charles and the feeling of betrayal that's still simmering under the surface. ]
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I forgive you, Professor. But I need time.
[ To forget. To accept his fate in the future. To be alright with the fact that this was hidden from him. ]
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I don't want you to be alone.
I know he's Magneto, but I also know that Erik cares for you, and he was upset about your situation. Would you consider reaching out to him if you have no one else?
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I don't think so.
I'm fine alone. [ Sorry, Charles. He's going to be pretty stubborn about this. ]
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In the end, he's just not ready to come out of being a hermit. Not when his misery clouds his judgment. ]